The Challenge of Poor Timing

Have you ever met someone that you just instantly know you're going to click with? Like the second they walk up to you at a bar and say hi, you just know? Whether for the better or the worse, you just instantly know this is going to be awesome or a major let down? That's the story of dating in my 20s so far. I'm incredibly intuitive. I know what I like and what I don't like. I know when something feels off. I often can tell pretty quickly if I am going to click with someone or not. I have a silly personality that can bounce from being the goofiest girl that ever lived to having a heart-to-heart within minutes. And I like it that way. I try not to take anything too seriously and let things happen organically, but I absolutely wear my heart on my sleeve, and I show it if I want something or care about someone. In my 20s so far, I have struck the poor timing tragedy more than once, and I find myself wondering when it will just feel right. Most recently, I have experienced something that felt so right, only for the timing to just blow up in my face. I'm strong and I'll be okay, but wow does that suck. It's one of those things where I genuinely feel like life is just getting in the way and I have zero control. And y'all know that when I'm feeling out of control, this is where I come.

I met a guy at the end of last year and instantly knew I'd be seeing him for a while. I thought he was so funny and kind, and every time I spent time with him, it just felt really right. I'm not going to get into all the details because there are some things that I save for my journal, but we just had so much fun together, and I knew we had a strong connection. I know when someone likes me, and I felt it from him..I still do. I let myself get excited for the first time in probably a year. Pre-this guy, an ex-situationship of mine made me a really sad girl lol. But that's not what this post is about. Long story short, after hanging out for a little while and him spending time with my friends and vice versa, life got busy, I got the "work is busy" text, and I was down bad. I tried not to let it get to me for a while, but I just couldn't stop thinking about him. I reached out to him two months later because I wanted to see him. And when I did, we just fell back into exactly how it was before. A genuine connection. Two people who enjoy each other's presence. If you know me, you know I could talk to a wall, but that doesn't mean I always want to. When I saw him then, he told me he was moving. I didn't really know how to react because it's not like we were together. To be honest, I was excited for him, which was a surprising feeling that I wasn't expecting. I knew how much he wanted to transition his career, and I was proud of him for taking the leap. It was a weird, nostalgic feeling. I felt like we missed out when the reality is he wasn't thinking or worried about me, and he needed to keep moving forward in his life. I wanted that for him, and I want him to be happy.

Even though that's where it ended, where I live, I saw him last week after visiting my best friend. I knew I was going to be in his city, so I reached out. He responded immediately. I met up with him, and it's like we didn't miss a beat. It's easy between us, and it's always been like that. I think that's what makes me calm about the whole situation. We just click. I've never felt anything but care and respect for him. He's a genuinely good guy, just trying to figure his life out, and I could never fault him for that. I just want to cheer him on. Our story doesn't feel over, but I want to see him follow his ambitions.

So poor timing. Maybe that's what it is. Or maybe it's just not meant to be. That's the thing about this journey is we never know. It's unsettling, it's magical, it's mass chaos, and we keep pouring into it regardless. Because no matter how many times I've experienced poor timing, or been bummed over a guy, I still love love. Shocking, I know. I have a little bit of advice for anyone experiencing something like this, or just feels stuck in a rut of poor timing. Because life is happening outside, don't miss out!

Relationships are not working, try this instead:

• Book a flight baby! I'm heading to Europe for three weeks starting today. There is so much to see and I'm not going to miss it.

• Connect with yourself. Find something you really love that doesn't involve anyone else.

• Buy something that makes you feel happy. I know purchases are temporary, but I just bought the cutest digital camera in the world and it makes my soul happy.

• Reach out to friends that you can lean on.

• Touch grass- no literally go do it.

• Go to therapy. This is your sign.

• Take a day off.

These are just a few of the things that came to the top of my head that always ground me. Off I go- 3 weeks to find myself again. Beyond thankful, excited for the new adventure ahead, and ready to show up ME always.