My European Summer & The Return to Reality

It's been one week since I got home from the most magical three weeks in Europe. One week and I'm already back in the chaos that was here when I left. It's funny how that works. You can run from something all you want, and it will still be waiting for you until you face it head-on. This blog post is the healing experience that was my traveling, but also coming home to reality, which can be the most difficult part of traveling.

Goodbye US!

I wrapped up my year teaching in mid-June and immediately found myself on Amtrak heading to see my best friend in New York. She always grounds me. I came home from that weekend and spent about two days packing and scrambling before heading to the airport to start my three-week adventure in Europe.

I spent two weeks in Italy. By far, my favorite country and probably will always be. Italy was full of good food, belly laughs, exploring so many new places, but also returning to some favorites from my previous trip. I traveled to the Cinque Terre, Genoa, Naples, Sorrento, Amalfi, Capri, and Anacapri. I explored Pompeii and hiked Mt. Vesuvius on the same day, in complete awe. In Agerola, I hiked the Path of the Gods. My eyes were constantly full of tears looking at views that had me speechless. The sunsets were my favorite. It reminded me how beautiful this life is if you just take opportunities to really see it for all that it is, to slow down. I spent more money than I'll ever admit to (shocker, I know) and fell into a beautiful routine of being so present. I was talking to my therapist yesterday about how genuinely happy I was because I was the most me I've been in a while. The version of me that isn't constantly hyper aware of everyone else. The version of me that isn't constantly trying to bend herself backwards for everyone else. I was the version of me that was at peace with me. I was the version of me that was stunning and full of gratitude for the little things. That's my favorite version. Sometimes when I'm home, I lose her.

After the two weeks, I went to the Naples airport with my family and friends, hugged them goodbye, and went on my own to Portugal. That was my first time flying by myself. I was a little nervous, but my excitement outweighed everything. I wasn't ready to go home. I just wanted to keep going. I landed in Faro, Portugal, which is on the beach side of Portugal. Another friend of mine was waiting there for me. We spent four days exploring Carvoeiro and the Algarves. The first day I was there, we casually hiked 10 miles on the famous trail, Seven Hanging Valleys. Again, the views had me just breathing easier. I felt so calm. During that hike, we stopped five miles in to lie on the beach and buy a fresh-squeezed orange juice. This man selling fresh fruit sold me the best peach I've ever had and literally cleaned it in a bag of water for me lol. I was living every day in a constant, "I can't believe this is my life right now." Something I hope I always get to experience. Then we hiked the five miles back. I went on a cave tour, had amazing dinners, and soaked in the sunshine. After four days, we took the bus to Lisbon aka the city life of Portugal. I spent just two days in the city. I'm a city girl these days. I love constantly being surrounded by lots of people and vibrant life. One thing about Lisbon is that it has all of this and so much happening, but it also has a calm energy that I have never experienced in a city before. Normally, it's loud and chaotic, but not Lisbon. I could live there. In just two days, I explored the entire city, went to their famous flea market, and watched the most breathtaking sunset with locals drinking wine. All while staying in my first hostel. I sit here typing all of this out, thinking about all of the firsts I have thrown myself into this summer. I'm still growing, but I'm still so proud.

One last thing that I want to mention is that going to Europe once again has made me delay my dating here in America. One man told me I was as beautiful as the beach, and another told me that he was "enchanted" by my smile. Adding in some comic relief here, but seriously, what the f are we doing here? I don't think another man will speak to me like that again, genuinely hahahaha. If you're my husband, can you please come get me?

Home "Sweet" Home

So I left Lisbon last Wednesday morning. I was excited to come home and see my friends. You know, sleep in my own bed. All the things that you miss when you leave. I flew into DC Wednesday night, got through customs, picked up my suitcase, and walked outside to an actual downpour. It felt like the frickin apocalypse watching everyone sprint to their Uber. I, too, got mauled by the rain and was soaking wet when I finally opened the door to mine. A little dramatic, but in the moment I was like "yeah, this is a sign". I should have stayed. But I made it back to my cutie little apartment that I love so dearly, and I opened the door to 6 of my friends sitting on my couch watching TSITP. Home. It made me smile, even though I was the crustiest version of myself after traveling for 18 hours. I didn't go to bed early; instead, I joined my friends and laughed and felt happy to be here. I still feel happy to be home, but after that first day, the chaos of life here just began again. I took a pause and left, but I came right back to it. Those feelings of constantly thinking of other people are back. I'm trying to show up in that calm manner that I was for three weeks, but outside factors make that hard. I'm back in a space where I was missing someone badly. I'm back in a space where I was bending myself backwards to please other people. Now being home, I have to face them. I had therapy for the first time in a month yesterday. I have some work to do. I want to be the version of me where I look in the mirror and see that beauty of living for me and loving those little things. She's here, but I have to work a little harder these days to keep her. But I will.

Return to Reality

Coming home from being on a high for life can hurt. I experienced some of the most incredible people and places while I was away, and I'll be counting down the days and saving my pennies until I can do it again. Soon. I'll continue putting in work for myself and loving on my people the only way I know how. I have about three more weeks of my summer to take it slow. Then, full force into another crazy year. One day at a time. Xoxo