Embracing Lover Girl Energy: Celebrating Valentine's Day as A Single Woman

Valentine's Day week has arrived. February 14th is a day meant to be celebrated. Throughout the week, you may see couples celebrating their love and enjoying each other's company. We see couples going on extravagant dates, posting on social media about cozy nights in together, sharing meaningful gifts, coming home to red roses and their favorite candy. It's fun, it's romantic, and it should make people feel giddy. Love is magic.

Valentine's Day is a holiday that I've come to love over the years. And yes, that's coming from a single woman—someone who has been single for years and fallen victim to one too many situationships. For someone who is the world's greatest lover girl, you would think that this holiday would be hard for me, and yeah, it used to be. If you are a single girl looking for ideas on how to plan your Valentine's Day, this post is for you. If you are happily in a relationship and already are booked for the week, make space and time for just you, too. Valentine's Day can be magic for everyone; you just have to lean in.

What's the big deal?

As we all know, Valentine's Day falls on a Saturday this year. Big deal number 1. How lucky are we!

My single girlfriends and I decided that we would fill our day with everything that fills our cup. And honestly, as long as you are with people who make you belly laugh and feel good about yourself, it doesn't matter what you do. My girlfriends have genuinely been the greatest love of my 20s. When I reflect on the year that I've had since last Valentine's Day, I haven't had the best luck in the relationship department. My friends have put so many pieces of mine back together. Pieces that they never broke. Pieces that I looked at, even just six months ago, and I was scared it would be a long road back to myself. I went on dates that made me question everything. I scrolled through the depths of Hinge, hoping to move on from a heartache. And while I still find myself in this nonlinear healing, I never had to ask my girlfriends to be there for me. They've been here for me loudly, but they've also lingered silently with a shoulder to cry on whenever I need it. It's a gift. Meeting friends who show up for you is a gift. Dating in your 20s can feel like torture. Going through it with girls who can help you laugh it off even when you want to sob your face off half the time- it's a gift. Big deal number 2.

Quick side note of how the girls are holding me together and why girlhood needs to be celebrated this weekend:

Yesterday, Sunday morning, I taught a spin class. The class was full and filled my heart. I was glowing stepping out of the studio. So much so that I decided to be brave and go grocery shopping (Why is it so hard?). I make it to the grocery store and am whipping around trying to move quickly when I look up to make eye contact with someone. When I looked away, I got that feeling that I knew this person, but I couldn't quite put my finger on it. So I looked back in their direction and made direct, like directly in your soul, eye contact with this man. This man was a guy that I went on a date with a few months ago. The date was actually so much fun and seemed promising after being pretty bummed with a different situationship that, if I'm being honest, I wanted so bad. Long story short, this man and I texted for a few days after the date, were planning a second date, and then he ghosted me out of nowhere. So now, coming back to this moment in the grocery store, I hadn't seen him since the date. He's with a girl who I assume is his girlfriend, and there we are. And let's remember I'm coming from a spin class. So I'll let you imagine what I looked like. We obviously said nothing to each other, and I wanted to pass away. I proceeded to finish my grocery shop, maybe in record time, and sprinted home. I walked into my apartment and had a 20-minute vent sesh with the girls. I haven't felt that uncomfortable in a while. I hated the way that interaction made me feel. It made me feel small and confused. A healing journey that has not at all been linear for the past year, quickly brought me 10 steps back with something that appears to be insignificant. A tiny moment. In my head, it wasn't. My stomach was in knots, and it sent me into a bit of a spiral. Why not me? And you know what my friends did? They listened. They reacted exactly how I needed them to. And they continued to help heal parts of me that no one asked them to heal. BIG deal.

So, here are my February 14th plans for the day. I hope it sparks something in you to celebrate the loves in your life, especially platonic.

I'm going to break the day's line up into 3 parts.

Part 1:

On Saturday morning, we are heading to a pop-up Pilates class in DC. The pilates class is being hosted at a beer garden that we love. With the purchase of our tickets, we get an hour-long pilates class, mimosas after, and discounted workout sets (aka my love language). Are we kidding?

Part 2:

After the class, we may get some lunch together and frolic back home to get cozy for the afternoon. The afternoon may be filled with a movie moment or Kindle on the couch. I just smiled at my computer while typing that.

Part 3:

I made a reservation at a cocktail bar for the evening portion of the day. Dinner, dirty martinis, and a dream. After the reservation, we're hitting the town.

So if you try these ideas, or some of your own, and all else fails, you stick with part 3. You hit the bar, and you call it a day.

Valentine's Day is for everyone. It's for celebrating how far you've come and how far you have to go in your self-love journey. It's for you to love on your people- romantic or platonic. It's for eating chocolate and drinking martinis. It's for thanking our lucky stars that the universe put us together. I will always cheer on my friends in romantic relationships because I know it will be my turn too.

Happy LOVE WEEK, Lifeinmy20s. You are worthy of every good thing.